Quotations about Poker

The guy who invented poker was bright, but the guy who invented the chip was a genius. ~Julius "Big Julie" Weintraub


If, after the first twenty minutes, you don't know who the sucker at the table is, it's you. ~David Levien and Brian Koppelman, Rounders


Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. ~Steven Wright


Is it a reasonable thing, I ask you, for a grown man to run about and hit a ball? Poker's the only game fit for a grown man. Then, your hand is against every man's, and every man's is against yours. Teamwork? Who ever made a fortune by teamwork? There's only one way to make a fortune, and that's to down the fellow who's up against you. ~W. Somerset Maugham


[Poker] exemplifies the worst aspects of capitalism that have made our country so great. ~Walter Matthau


Your best chance to get a Royal Flush in a casino is in the bathroom. ~V.P. Pappy


There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush." It is enough to make one ashamed of the species. ~Mark Twain


The commonest mistake in history is underestimating your opponent; it happens at the poker table all the time. ~David Shoup


I must complain the cards are ill shuffled till I have a good hand. ~Jonathan Swift


"How long does it take to learn poker, Dad?"
"All your life, son."
~Michael Pertwee


Poker: the art of civilized bushwhacking. ~Nick Dandalos, attributed


Poker is the game closest to the western conception of life, where life and thought are recognized as intimately combined, where free will prevails over philosophies of fate or of chance, where men are considered moral agents and where - at least in the short run - the important thing is not what happens but what people think happens. ~John Luckacs


Cards are war, in disguise of a sport. ~Charles Lamb


In a game of poker, I can put the players' souls in my pocket. ~Beausourire


I believe in poker the way I believe in the American Dream. Poker is good for you. It enriches the soul, sharpens the intellect, heals the spirit, and - when played well, nourishes the wallet. ~Lou Krieger


Poker, n. A game said to be played with cards for some purpose to this lexicographer unknown. ~Ambrose Bierce


Poker is... a fascinating, wonderful, intricate adventure on the high seas of human nature. ~David A. Daniel


Poker's a day to learn and a lifetime to master. ~Robert Williamson III


Whether he likes it or not, a man’s character is stripped at the poker table; if the other players read him better than he does, he has only himself to blame. Unless he is both able and prepared to see himself as others do, flaws and all, he will be a loser in cards, as in life. ~Anthony Holden



With spots quadrangular of diamond form,
Ensanguined hearts, clubs typical of strife,
And spades, the emblems of untimely graves.
~William Cowper


The poker player learns that sometimes both science and common sense are wrong; that the bumblebee can fly; that, perhaps, one should never trust an expert; that there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of by those with an academic bent. ~David Mamet


Poker is a microcosm of all we admire and disdain about capitalism and democracy. It can be rough-hewn or polished, warm or cold, charitable and caring, or hard and impersonal, fickle and elusive, but ultimately it is fair, and right, and just. ~Lou Krieger


Baseball is like a poker game. Nobody wants to quit when he's losing; nobody wants you to quit when you're ahead. ~Jackie Robinson


Poker is to cards and games what jazz is to music. It's this great American thing, born and bred here. We dig it because everybody can play. ~Steve Lipscomb


God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players [i.e., everybody], to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a Dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. ~Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman, Good Omens, 1991


Hold'em - like life itself - has its defining moment. It's the flop. When you see the flop, you're looking at 71 percent of your hand, and the cost is only a single round of betting. ~Lou Krieger


[Poker is] as elaborate a waste of human intelligence as you could find outside an advertising agency. ~Raymond Chandler


You have it in your power to turn a bad-beat around simply by realizing this simple truth: The more bad beats you encounter, the luckier you are. It's a sign that you are playing against opponents who continually take the worst of it, and if you can't beat someone who always takes the worst of it, you can't beat anyone. ~Lou Krieger


Old card players never die, they just shuffle away. ~Author Unknown


Industry executives and analysts often mistakenly talk about strategy as if it were some kind of chess match. But in chess, you have just two opponents, each with identical resources, and with luck playing a minimal role. The real world is much more like a poker game, with multiple players trying to make the best of whatever hand fortune has dealt them. In our industry, Bill Gates owns the table until someone proves otherwise. ~David Moschella


Most of the money you'll win at poker comes not from the brilliance of your own play, but from the ineptitude of your opponents. ~Lou Krieger


In life's poker game, the optimist sees the pessimist's night and raises him the sunrise. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com


I've often thought, if I got really hungry for a good milk shake, how much would I pay for one? People will pay a hundred dollars for a bottle of wine; to me that's not worth it. But I'm not going to say it is foolish or wrong to spend that kind of money, if that's what you want. So if a guy wants to bet twenty or thirty thousand dollars in a poker game, that is his privilege. ~Jack Binion


There's opportunity in poker.... If Horace Greeley were alive today, his advice wouldn't be "Go West, young man, and grow up with the country." Instead, he'd point to that deck of cards on table and say, "Shuffle up and deal. ~Lou Krieger