Quotations about Dental Subjects

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill. ~Johnny Carson


A dentist at work in his vocation always looks down in the mouth. ~George D. Prentice


Every tooth in a man's head is more valuable than a diamond. ~Miguel de Cervantes, Don Quixote, 1605


If suffering brought wisdom, the dentist’s office would be full of luminous ideas. ~Mason Cooley


You don't have to brush your teeth - just the ones you want to keep. ~Author Unknown


Some tortures are physical
And some are mental,
But the one that is both
Is dental.
~Ogden Nash


Too many of today's children have straight teeth and crooked morals. ~Unknown high school principal


The man with a toothache thinks everyone happy whose teeth are sound. ~George Bernard Shaw


Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket. ~Ambrose Bierce


I find that most men would rather have their bellies opened for five hundred dollars than have a tooth pulled for five. ~Martin H. Fischer


For there was never yet philosopher
That could endure the toothache patiently.
~William Shakespeare, Much Ado About Nothing


We do have a zeal for laughter in most situations, give or take a dentist. ~Joseph Heller


Even pearls are dark before the whiteness of his teeth. ~William R. Alger


If a patient cannot clean his teeth, no dentist can clean them for him. ~Martin H. Fischer


An aching tooth is better out than in.
To lose a rotting member is a gain.
~Richard Baxter, Poetical Fragments


My health plan doesn't cover dental, so I enrolled my teeth as 32 dependents, each needing a complete physical once a year. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com


A man loses his illusions first, his teeth second, and his follies last. ~Helen Rowland


There are two things in life that a sage must preserve at every sacrifice, the coats of his stomach and the enamel of his teeth. Some evils admit of consolations, but there are no comforters for dyspepsia and the toothache. ~Henry Lytton Bulwer


You know, sometimes a man just can't satisfy all of a woman's desires. Which is why God invented dental floss. ~Author Unknown


Adam and Eve had many advantages, but the principal one was that they escaped teething. ~Mark Twain


The tongue is ever turning to the aching tooth. ~Thomas Fuller


Some old women and men grow bitter with age; the more their teeth drop out, the more biting they get. ~George D. Prentice


I had very good dentures once. Some magnificent gold work. It's the only form of jewelry a man can wear that women fully appreciate. ~Graham Greene


I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is? ~Paul Merton


Tooth decay was a perennial national problem that meant a mouthful of silver for patients, and for dentists a pocketful of gold. ~Claudia Wallis